The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Randomize
