You really coming over, don't trick.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
