I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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