Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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