oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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