haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
