don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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