I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
