Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize