Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
vagina is talking i cant
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I supernannyed him into submission
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
