Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Randomize
