i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
