Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
you mean i was at the winter classic?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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