Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
