I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Even my vagina gasped.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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