How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
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