ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
