I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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