I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
