Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
