last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
sarcasm needs its own font
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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