Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize