I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I got inside last night via doggy door
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
