She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Randomize
