Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Everclear isn't food dammit
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
