maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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