Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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