I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
