do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
