Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize