That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize