no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
