Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I would ride that face into the sunset
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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