Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize