I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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