There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I'm too high and old for this...
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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