I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
