he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
