I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
