Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
