i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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