Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
