There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
