just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
