I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
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