So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
