Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Randomize
