You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
