Christians are straight up FREAKS
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
