so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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