I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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