I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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