yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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