But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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