How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
