I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
It's rum buckets o'clock
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
The air taste purple.
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