Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
