I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
