Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
