Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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