I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i just sent this text using only my big toe
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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