She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
