i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
where are my eyebrows?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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