how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
