I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
