Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
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