go do what you do best...puke behind churches
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Randomize
