Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize