I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
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I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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